This article was originally published on WHerMoments
A gigantic pick-up truck parked horizontally across three parking spaces. A neighbor parked in the spot you just shoveled out of the snow. A complete stranger parked in your designated spot at work. Or, even worse, a regular car blatantly parked in a handicapped space. If your mind filled with rage just reading these scenarios, you're not the only one! It's rare for rude drivers to get their comeuppance in real life, but the following people made getting revenge against obnoxious parkers a top priority.
Please note: these entries have been lightly edited for length and clarity.
The parking spot thief
“It had snowed a bunch so I went out to clear a [parking] spot…I spent a while digging it out, and as I was finishing up some girl drove up and parked in it (while I was still shoveling it!). I told her that I just dug it out intending to use it and asked her to move, and she didn’t. She then got out of her car and walked away… Turns out she lived two buildings down so she normally wouldn’t park there anyways! Our complex had a mini snow plow and the dude was plowing in the area and saw this all go down. He helped me move all the snow from the pile he just created and put it all around her car. We buried it up to the door handles on all sides...
He then dug out a new spot for me.Saw her later trying to dig out her car, turns out she didn’t have a shovel. So, naturally, because I’m petty I went out and re-shoveled the sidewalk from the lot up to our building, and threw all the snow on her vehicle while I did it. Then went inside and took my shovel with me.” —notanotherdonut, Reddit
He was caught on camera
“I had to park my motorcycle on the street. It happened to be close enough to the house where I could point a CCTV camera right at it from my porch…The next morning I went out and saw my bike scratched and the mirror broke[n] off...
I saw the neighbor’s car right next to it and checked my camera, and sure enough, I saw him doing all of [the damage]. I went to his house and said, ‘Hey James, I saw you hitting my bike over and I need to take your insurance details because you damaged it,’ and he got super-aggravated and confrontational… he got extremely mad and started threatening me and saying he was going to move his car, I had no evidence, and motorcycles were for losers. I unlocked my bike and wrapped the chain carefully around his car wheel and locked it, then went back to his house (after phoning the police to report it). So if he was too dumb to call it into the police separately, he would be charged with failing to report a motor vehicle collision as well as damage and trying to hide a collision. What a stupid fool.” — AceBV1, Reddit
"Thank you for parking like an idiot"
“I went to a gym near my house. Around this time… the parking in the front filled up quickly… some people were impatient and began to park wherever they could stick their car. People parked on the sidewalk, in grass areas, and even on a crosswalk area leading to the ramp entrance. The last offense especially annoyed me because I had a quadriplegic uncle, and accessibility was always an issue without some idiot parking his car somewhere he shouldn’t because he can’t walk a short distance…. I decided to take matters into my own hands...
I bought some window markers (the ones you could easily wipe off) and every time I came and saw someone park there, I’d write on their driver-side window ‘Thank you for parking like an idiot.’I kept this up for nearly three weeks. Now amazingly, eventually people stopped parking there… The gym posted a sign asking whoever was vandalizing cars to cease. A week later, I was in the free weight area and I heard the guy beside me complaining about how his car got hit.I looked over and said, ‘Shouldn’t have parked like an idiot then.’” — Xero6689, Reddit
Got what they deserved?
“One night, I took the family out to eat at Applebee’s. The lot was full and I saw a customer come out to leave, so I waited for him to pull out and take the spot. The customer pulled out, and a car full of young girls just pulled into my spot. I told them I was waiting for the parking space and the driver replied, ‘Too bad, your name wasn’t on it.’ I was livid but just waited for another space, went inside, and ate dinner. The girls were at their table having drinks…As my waiter walked by, I stopped him and asked, ‘Hey, do you want to make an extra twenty bucks?’I asked him to go up to the girls ten minutes after we left and tell them they got a call from someone saying that their car had been keyed.I called him about an hour later to ask how it went...
He said they all went nuts, screaming and stuff, and even called the police. I later found out the cops came and found no damage to the car, but noticed the girls were too wasted to drive.The cops left and circled back and watched the car. The girls came out, got in the car, started the car, and the parking lot exploded in blue light. Busted! Tickets for all.” —sixuldv8, Reddit
Phil was a savage
“This was long ago when I was young and dumb. Our software company shared a floor with a construction firm. We had an ‘Employee of the month’ spot near the door, and one month it was mine. We had problems with folks from the construction firm parking there, even though it was marked as reserved. Sure enough, I came back from lunch and there was a strange car parked there. So, I parked it two inches behind the bumper of the car and left a note on the windshield saying ‘Suite 200, ask for Phil’. At about five-thirty in the evening, I got buzzed and the receptionist explained, ‘I think there’s someone here to see you’. I went to the front door and opened it, and there was a guy in work clothes standing there and he was steaming mad. ‘Is this your car?’ he started...
‘Yes’, I replied, ‘Are you unable to read, or not sure which company you work for?’ He said something smart, so I shrugged and let the door close…there was a polite knock on the door. I asked, ‘Yes?’ The guy replied, ‘If you move it, I won’t park there again.’ ‘Right,’ I replied. So I moved my car. Problem solved!” — Phil Smith III, Quora
Smoking stinks... literally
“One time, I came out of a club only to find a brand new Celica double-parked behind me. I went back inside and informed a server. He knew the car. It was the assistant manager who for some reason had decided to stop by at one in the morning. He paged her and she came over, holding her drink, and said she would be right out. I went out and waited. Ten minutes later, I went back inside and complained. The server paged her. Again, she said she would be right out. I waited. After five minutes, I lit a smoke… then dropped it through the cracked open sunroof onto a beautiful leather seat. Do you know what a lit cig does to tan leather seats...?
It was ugly and impossible to repair. There were at least fifteen smokes in there before she finally came out and moved the car. Since it was so dark out and she had had a few drinks, I don’t think she noticed.I wish I could have seen her reaction the next morning.” — Stan Burns, Quora
Lesson learned
My son and I were at Walmart, and as I parked, I saw that a new BMW convertible owner decided that that striped [handicapped] spot was set aside for HIM. I looked, and there was no sign of a placard or handicapped tag. It made me mad… When he was still parked there when I came out, I decided to get spiteful. I found a piece of paper and left a note on his windshield. It said: ‘SO SORRY – I did not mean to scrape your car with my wheelchair. I would leave my contact info, but you were illegally parked, blocking my van...
So good luck buffing that out!’We sat in the car another 20 minutes and waited. Out came this guy… He saw the note, screamed ‘Oh, NOOOO!!’ Then he spent the next 20 minutes going over his car, inch by inch. Rubbing every speck of dust or dirt. He was still looking when we left.Nothing harmed, no damage – just a lesson (hopefully) learned.” — stormdancer10, Reddit
"Satisfied for a week"
“So I’m at Costco, in need of dog food, and it’s ridiculously busy for a Monday. Barely any parking spots until I spot one at the end of the lot. I make my way down the aisle and am about to turn into the parking spot when a lady RUNS OVER THE CURB and almost hits me to take the spot. I look up and she is shaking her head and wagging her finger in a ‘no’ motion at me. I was like, okay, I’ll just wait for her to back up since I’m obviously turning into the spot. She doesn’t. My girlfriend is with me and was mad that the lady wasn’t budging. I gave her my Costco card and just sat in the aisle in a face-off with this lady...
She goes inside, gets the dog food, comes back out, and loads up the car. She then pushes the cart into the spot we were waiting for… The look on the woman’s face was enough to give me satisfaction for a week. She had to get out and move the cart so she could park once I reversed through the entire aisle. Worth it.” — Reddit
Divine inspiration
“On one summer trip to the grocery store the battle for parking was especially fierce and I was particularly irritated… a dangerous combination. My GF was driving and as she spied an available spot and signaled her intention to take it… A flying twerp of a driver zipped quickly into it to our astonishment and surprise. We weren’t alone, others stopped and watched mouths agape at the wanton disregard of parking etiquette on display…I was ready to barge out of the door and confront him as he opened his. But, my GF restrained me (though she too was seething mad). What happened next I can only describe as a combination of very good luck and divine inspiration. As we entered the store, our evil driver had a cart and had gathered about 3 or 4 items in it...
Both of his hands were filled with melons that he was about to place in the cart…I walked quickly up to his cart, grabbed the handle, and wheeled it away to the sounds of him saying ‘Hey, Hey, that’s mine.’I felt smug and justified. I took the cart 2 aisles away and abandoned it with a satisfaction that I have rarely known before or since.” — kckman, Reddit
The parking war
“I lived in an apartment complex, all uncovered parking was free for all, while all covered parking was assigned. Our spot had one spot between ours and the garage building. The neighbors had kept their car there since before we had moved in… When they finally moved their car, my husband moved his truck into our spot and when I got home I parked in the now open free spot. The next morning, I came out to a note on my car saying I was rude and inconsiderate for taking their assigned parking spot, and it was their spot and not to park there again...
I called the managers and the maintenance man came down and confirmed it was an open free for all spot and we were okay to park there.Thus starting the parking war… They would run out to their car if they saw me open a door on my car… If they came out to their car to leave, I would swipe into the spot before their wheels even hit the road outside the complex. This went on for two years before we moved. It was fun while it lasted.” — Shelena Wall, Quora
Sorry, too bad, lady!
“Today, I was backing into a parking spot at Costco when someone zipped in from behind and took it from me. No problem I thought, they must not have seen me. I rolled down my window and politely let them know I was going to park there, expecting a sorry. Instead, I got a ‘Sorry, too bad!’ as she laughed and continued into the store. Instead of letting it ruin my day, I used the shopping carts to box her car in...
My friends and I made a nice pile in front of her car. Unfortunately, she left before me so I was unable to see the look on her face when she came back, but I was in a much better mood when I went into the store!” —emmagerdd, Reddit
Mr. Rude Boy strikes again
“Neither victim nor perp, just a witness to this…At a store, a man in the front of the line pays and leaves. When I get to the cash register he comes back into the store in a panic. He is complaining about a car in the parking lot. He goes around asking random people if that’s their car outside.I paid and left to witness the awesome act. Mr. Rude Boy had parked in a handicap spot while he went in to buy stuff...
A person authorized in parking in a handicap spot strategically parked perpendicular to the handicap spot so he couldn’t leave.The icing on the cake? I’m pretty sure he was on his break from work as he was some kind of construction trade since he still had his knee pads and dirty clothes on.I left and he was still stuck there; he deserved it.” — Balki____Bartokomous, Reddit
Just an innocent note
“I was trying to find a parking spot at my university. The lot was notoriously crowded but my campus didn’t have a lot of options. While searching, I saw a Corvette taking up FOUR prime spots near the front of the lot. After about ten minutes of waiting/looking for a spot one opened up towards the back of the lot. Furious at the nerve of the driver being so inconsiderate, I wrote a note saying, ‘Sorry I hit your car, you probably won’t even notice the damage’ and left it on their windshield...
When I got out of class and was headed back to my car, I saw a very stereotypical college aged Corvette owner frantically searching their vehicle while yelling into their phone. I don’t know who they were talking to, but I feel bad for them having to deal with this person.” — asdf_qwerty27, Reddit
No acknowledgement necessary
"I went out to eat at a local fast food place before going to work. When I arrived, the parking lot was full except for one space — but some inconsiderate buffoon had parked across the line. Thankfully, there was enough room for me to pull into this last space which was next to the driver's door of the other car. My driver's door was next to the curb so I had no trouble getting out. While I was inside waiting for my food (I'd already ordered), a woman came inside upset that someone had parked blocking her in. The manager went outside with her to look. They came back in, I heard the manager tell her there was nothing he could do because "the other car is clearly parked in a single space"...
She proceeded to go table-to-table asking [who owned the car] because she needed to leave.After I finished my meal, I walked out, got in my car. As I was walking to my car, I heard her on the phone talking (presumably) to her boss and telling him that she was going to be late.I just drove away without even acknowledging her." —Internal_Researcher8, Reddit
Leave the pumpkins alone!
"I have a friend whose pumpkin\fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. Happened every year. My friend decided to put a stop to it. He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikrete...
He filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display. The [jerk] broke the axle of his car when he hit that pumpkin. He could not drive away, so my friend had his car towed away, too." —Reddit
What goes around, comes around
“Went to a restaurant for lunch during a work shift. Out of three parking spots somebody decided to park across every single one. There were no other parking spots at the time. So I decided to park within half a foot from my passenger side to his driver's door. Ordered and got my food, and noticed an older (60+) man leave and walk in the direction of our parked cars...
When I left and walked towards my car, sure enough he was there, tray of drinks in one hands and a bag of food in the other, just absolutely struggling to get into his vehicle.He called out about why I parked like this and my only reply was, ‘Why did you park across three spots? Park like an a**, you better expect to be treated like one.’” — Destrata911, Reddit
Petty, passive aggressive, and proud
“There's a new truck in my apartment's parking lot. Always taking up multiple spots… Weird angles, close to the stairs, all over the place (no assigned parking, unfortunately). Months of this. I drive a much smaller car than that, and I'm petty/passive-aggressive, I've been waiting for my chance. A few days ago was my shot. I got home quite late and there were zero spots open in my lot. Big truck is double parked again, but there's juuust enough room on their driver's side for me to sneak in there with my little clown car. I carefully pull in, making sure not to touch anything, no damage, no nothing...
My passenger side mirror is half an inch from their driver side door. The following morning I [saw] the double parking culprit walking around both vehicles, taking pictures, texting someone, taking more pictures; I'm shaking with glee. They then swallow their pride, let out a visual sigh, and climb in the passenger side, clamber over the center console, and Austin Powers 20-point turn their butts out of the spot. I've never been so proud of myself and my petty, passive aggressive ways.” — Here2LOL, Reddit
Playing the long game
“A truck is sitting with its flashers on in the middle of the back lane, blocking the whole road. I sit for a bit waiting for her to move and the lady yells at me, 'I have my flashers on, I'm going to be 10 minutes, go around the block.' I would have had to pull a U-turn in a back lane, drive 500 feet, take two left turns, drive 600 feet, two more left turns, 100 more feet to get into the parking spot that was now 20 feet away from me. The two ladies in the truck were unloading groceries from the back of the truck at a very cumbersome pace...
So I respond, 'Can you pull ahead 20 feet or pull into the empty driveway to let me pass?' To which she responds, 'No, my flashers are on, I have 10 minutes to unload.' I turned my car off, put my flashers on, went to my parents', got my mom's keys, reversed her car into the back lane, and put her flashers on. I now have my vehicle and my mom's vehicle blocking them in.They are finishing their unloading of groceries and start to go off on me saying they will call a tow truck and so on, and several other verbal abuses, to which I respond, 'My flashers are on, I'll only be 10 minutes.'” — jordanloewen, Reddit
A dish best served cold
“It was a cold winter day. Eight inches of snow had fallen the night before, and the wind chill made it feel as if it were in the negatives (Fahrenheit). I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling our car out so we could get to the store. We were gone for an hour, and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled. Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty pissed. I went inside and filled two-gallon jugs of water. Went back out and poured them on his windshield...
I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight.The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield.” – topathemornin, Reddit
He got the message loud and clear
“I live in a large house divided into flats, and there is a private parking area outside for residents only. One day I spotted this old Toyota parking there (blocking two spots) meaning that there was not enough room for residents. So each night, I used to go out and surround the car with wheelie bins and put the rubbish bags on its roof...
After a few days the owner (some random guy who lived up the street) got the message and started parking his car elsewhere.” – James Brawn, Bored Panda
Patience is a virtue
“I was driving down a city street when I noticed I'm in a school zone. I also see a parked unmarked police-looking car a few blocks ahead in the parking lot to my left. I immediately slow down to 20mph, the black truck behind me did not appreciate that...
He starts honking and accelerates changing lanes and speeding by me, and past the unmarked cop car. Like clockwork, the lights go on, truck gets pulled over. I smile and wave at him as I pass.” – Skylar Anderson, Bored Panda
Slow revenge
“Some jerk parked his lifted truck in the loading zone of our local big box home improvement store. He was so close that nobody could get their carts out. After I carried my 5th 80lb sack of concrete out to my truck by hand, I saw the driver walking around shopping...
I took the valve caps off his huge tires and put them back on with little pebbles inside. The air was slowly leaking out and they wouldn't be flat until the morning.” – Lucas Schuckenbrock, Bored Panda
Vengeance!
“I caught my flatmate telling lies about me to some mutual friends. I made plans to move out the next month. In the meantime, she went out of town for a week and left her car parked in its usual spot in the parking lot...
I threw birdseed on it every morning and evening, so when she came home, the birds wouldn't leave her car alone.” — otefl, Reddit
Revenge is a dish best served wet
“Years ago I was in a cinema with some friends watching a horror film, can't remember which one. Anyway, a couple of [people] behind us thought it was really funny to yell 'Boo!" in the tense parts and generally ruin the movie for everyone around them. I had a large, and by large I mean bucket, of coke. The next time [one of them] yells "Boo!" I throw up my hands in shock and dump the whole bucket of coke in his lap...
I turned round to apologize and saw him sitting there stunned and soaked, coke dripping off the brim of his cap. I nearly gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh. I swear he made squelching noises as he walked out.....(wipes a little laughter tear from eyes).”
How to school a cheating classmate
“During my Freshman year of high school, I was in a biology class that was made up of mainly juniors. This one guy, who sat next to me, would always be a jerk to me during class. I always did well on the tests so he would always look over and copy the answers from my scantron. I'm pretty sure he didn't realize that I knew he was cheating off of me. Well, one day I got fed up with this guy messing with me and cheating off of me. So the next test comes around and sure enough, he starts copying my answers. I finish the test and so does he...
He gets up and turns his test in and comes back to his seat. I looked him in the eyes and proceeded to erase my entire scantron. I then retook the test, this time marking the correct answers. The look of panic in his eyes was so satisfying. He ended up making a 2 percent on that test and never cheated off me again.”
Grocery store pettiness
“I'm a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily. Every Wednesday is senior discount day. You have to be 55-60+ to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don't want to deal with the seniors. I don't generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes. This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, "There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I'm going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot since you don't seem to have the initiative to request that yourself." Off to a great start, lady. She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. "I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here." We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer. ONE. I say "No problem, but I'll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here." She has a HUGE hissy fit. "I don't have time for this. Let's GO."As I'm checking her out, it is constant [complaining]. "You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don't even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip." "Please don't put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread..."
"Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I'm in a magazine." She was unbelievable. Finally, in the end, I had enough. As she's about to pay, I say, "Don't forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!" She just stared at me. "What?" I smiled broadly. "Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I'll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?" She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red. I lose my smile slowly and say ‘Oh, you don't qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.’I haven't seen her in the store since.” — RainbowSparkle17
Red, red wine
“Last month, my brother got married to the woman he has spent the last 7 years of his life with. My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman and I am more than happy for the two of them. Well, my mother being the venomous demon she is decided that one of the most important days in her oldest child's life MUST be made about her in some way. She showed up in an incredibly frilly white bridal dress. Her dress was much more of a bridal dress than the bride's that day as well. She was the talk of the whole event, for all the wrong reasons, mind you. My brother didn't even know if she would show up after a previous meltdown of hers, but he didn't even know what to do when he walked down the aisle to see her sitting in the front row. My SIL looked livid as well when she saw her. At the lunch afterward, things only got worse and I knew my mother was going to ruin this day. So, I decided to take one for the team. We were served glasses of red wine at lunch, and I asked for mine to be filled to the brim...
I walked over to where my mother was sitting and "tripped," dousing her perfect white dress.I nearly got on my knees groveling to apologize and she missed the lunch and much of the first half of the reception driving back home (4 hour round trip) to change into the dress my brother had originally bought for her. Lucky for me, no one cared but my mother. The maid of honor even ended up slipping me a text right after the scene telling me that I deserve an Oscar for my performance.I didn't plan on coming on the internet to brag about destroying a bridal dress and causing a scene at my brother's wedding. But I just received a bottle of red wine from my SIL with a card saying ‘Enjoy the best bottle of wine I could find, for the best wedding gift you could have given us.’”—WeddingHeroGuy554
Helicopter husbanding
“My wife stayed up late, binge-watching Narcos the other night, and woke me up by being really loud when she came to bed. I couldn't get back to sleep and I was super-irritated about it. I mean, just be quiet when you come to bed. You don't have to [scream] "THIS IS SPARTA!!" kick the door open, turn on both lamps and the overhead and then Greg Louganis into bed. Anyway, I'm a commercial helicopter pilot, and I had a 6:00 a.m. flight that morning...
So I decided to take a short detour and flew a few laps right over our bedroom to wake her up. When I landed, I had a text from her, calling me a huge [idiot]. Vindication feels pretty sweet y'all. Sorry neighbors.”—DyslexicsOnFire
A delicious slice of vengeance
“Delivered pizzas about a week for my best friend's shop. Warned me about a few customers, but one in particular was always rude to the drivers and never tipped. Lucky for me, I got to deliver his order of a single calzone, maybe $6 or $7 total, and he tried to pay with a $50 bill. All the menus and the website prominently said nothing over a $20 bill for deliveries, and he'd been their customer long enough to know that...
But when I told him this while explaining how I didn't have enough change, he got extremely rude and was loud about how it's not his fault and that drivers should always carry enough money on them. So I did what any person in that situation should do, and told him not to worry about it, and I'd pay for the order. For those few seconds he thought he'd won a free calzone — until I pulled it out and started eating it as I walked back to my car.” — DrunkAtChurch
Crazy ex-girlfriend
My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super-self-centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom. About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together. After he paid for the moving truck, deposit, and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heartbroken. In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her ("I mean, it's really important. It's my NORTHFACE.") My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him. Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important Northface sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor. I folded everything nicely. I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her and let her know that I hope all is well...
The note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it. Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also unfortunately, the shampoo, soap, and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink. The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn't have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface. She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again." — Typingbutnotworking
Supermarket karma
“You young'uns here might not believe it, but back in the early 90s, supermarket cashiers had to type every price in by hand.I was at a Vons in San Diego, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly this hoity-toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off...
"I'm in a hurry," she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I'd been born.I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later she's walking out the door and it's my turn.‘You're good,’ says the cashier. ‘I put your soda on her tag.’Damn, that felt good.”—Irishzombieman
First-class payback
“I was traveling from Edinburgh to London by train and had a booked window seat with a table.I got on the train to find four guys sitting at the table. The one in my seat (that was clearly marked as booked) refused to move as he was with his friends and the train was packed...
The ticket collector passed and I asked him to help.He asked the guy to move but he refused and somehow that was that.'So what now?' I asked.'You can find another seat but I have no power to move him, only the police [can] move him and they will not turn up just to move someone out of a seat.'There were no seats free in the carriage and probably not many free on the train so standing to London was a possibility.'I'm going to take a seat in first class.''You can't sit there, you don't have a booking.''Well, you could call the police to move me but apparently, they won't turn out to move someone out of a seat.'I had a lovely trip with power for my laptop and a wide comfy seat.”—Magnus_40
Instant car-ma
“So this morning, traffic is totally backed up due to a fender bender at a construction zone. Karen decides to blast by everyone in the left-hand-only-turn lane and force her way in up front. She has an older Ford SUV, covered in dents and road rash. Lots of middle fingers and horns express their displeasure at her move. She ends up right next to me.I hatch my evil plan.I roll down my window and honk at her. She ignores me. So, I wave at her nicely and point to her back tire. Then I motion to her to roll down her window."Your tire is really low! You might want to pull over to the gas station and put some air in it...!
Here, I'll let you in front of me!"She smiles, says thanks and pulls into the gas station.I drive off as she's getting out to check her perfectly fine tire. The gas station exit is right where the accident was. It probably added 20 minutes to her commute to pull in there and try to get back out.”—JimmyRickyBobbyBilly
All that glisters is not gold
“So this happened 15 years ago, but I still laugh about this. A couple of weeks before I got married, my fiance got an apartment for us. He gave his mom a spare key in case of emergencies ONLY. A few days later, she used the spare key to let several of his siblings "decorate" for his birthday. All they did is throw tiny confetti all over the apartment. I was annoyed because it was a real pain to clean up. Fast forward to Christmas that year. I decided it was time to get my revenge. I had hand-painted a dozen wooden nutcrackers about 4 inches tall for my mother-in-law as her Christmas gift. I got a large appliance box to "wrap" her gift in. I added several large bags of finely shredded paper, and 5 POUNDS of the finest glitter on the market. I put the nutcrackers throughout the mix and wrapped it up...
When it was time to open the gift, I encouraged my 3 year old brother in law to "help" unwrap and find her gift. Shredded paper and glitter was thrown all over the room as he happily climbed into the box to find everything. It was GLORIOUS! She knew right away why I did it and glared at me. They were still finding glitter in the house five years later when they moved out!”—Lifesucks2day
Neighborly behavior
“We live in an apartment block and occasionally have new people move in and out. Yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady. My boyfriend greeted her with a simple "Hello." He also tried to say "Welcome," but she cut him off with "Shut up, I don't know you." Okay, not the sociable type. Neither are we, let's not get friendly then! Today when returning from grocery shopping we found her trying to pick the lock with what looks like a piece of a paperclip, because you know, that's going to work, and she's apparently been at it a while cause before we could open the door with our key a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her. We stopped to watch cause, well, it was happening...
The officer asked her why she was breaking in to which she responded she lived here. She turned to us and said, "They know me."Boyfriend smiled and said, "I don't know you."We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm and boyfriend repeated, "We don't know her."Can't wait to have more contact with her...”—Shileka
Bride wars
“Info important to the story: My surname can also be used as an (uncommon) first name. One of my email addresses is "FirstnameSurname @..." and I've been using it since 2005. A few days ago, I'm sitting at the table with my fiance addressing wedding invitations when my phone buzzes. I've gotten an email that reads "Please mark Name1 and Name2 as coming to your wedding, we will have the chicken and the fish". Cue a very confused thirty seconds of trying to figure out which of our guests has precognition and has RSVP'd before the invites were even dropped in the mail! Not recognizing the sender's email or the names of either guest, we chalk it up to a wrong email address, send back "You might want to double-check who you sent this to so your RSVP goes to the right place!" and chuckle at the confusion it caused us, thinking things have been resolved. Until the next day. I get two more RSVPs from two different addresses, and a reply from the original that says "This ISN'T the email for the wedding of Firstname and Surname???" I reply back No, no it is not. I'm perplexed but at work. I decide to deal with the other emails later. When I get home, I've gotten another RSVP (four in total for those playing along at home) as well as an email from someone with the same first name as me, saying that she's going to need me to give her my email account.I reply to that, no, and also, why? I get an email back in about 10 minutes. She says that she's got the same first name as me, and is getting married to a guy named Surname. They've picked "FirstnameSurname" as their email account for RSVPs. She didn't realize I made the account, so I can either give my password to her or I can reset it and she can create a new one, whichever works for me!)I reply again that she's going to need to pick a new account, this is mine, it's my full name, I've had it for a literal decade, it's the email all my family knows... blah blah. More apologetic than needed at all, but I wanted to explain why I wasn't giving it up. I do congratulate her on getting married, and mention that I'm getting married myself as well. Oh, she LOSES it. I get a nasty nasty string of emails from her saying that I have no right to use FirstnameSurname unless my fiance is named "Surname"; that I won't need it after I'm married so what's wrong with giving it up a little early; that I am ruining her life and her wedding; that I am a wide array of gender-based insults and slurs; she hopes that my fiance cheats on me because I deserve it; and finally, she's giving me one more chance to hand it over before she sues me for theft and I owe her a lot of money. I was a more than a little taken aback, so I didn't reply to any of this...
(The fiance did offer up some snarky replies for me to use, but I didn't.)A few hours later, the original RSVPer sends me an email saying they double checked the invitation, my email is definitely the one written on the invite.Ah, now the mystery unravels.She put my email on her wedding invites and sent them out to people without first registering the email address herself. It's printed and in the mail. It's permanent. Oooh, what a super-stupid decision!I finally reply to her tirade (without using any of the snarky comments I'd been given!) telling her under no circumstances would I be giving her my email, legally she doesn't have a leg to stand on, she's being super-rude, but I am still willing to forward on the RSVPs to her if she would like me to. I ask how many people she invited, so I can get an idea of how much work I just volunteered for.She sends back a nasty email full of expletives and name calling again demanding my password or nothing.OK then, nothing it is!I blocked her email and replied to the three RSVPs I hadn't talked to yet with a simple "I'm sorry, you're not invited to my wedding." This has the benefit of being 100 percent true, albeit deceptive.Today I got another RSVP and they got a nice curt "not invited!" reply as well.I'm hoping she has a very large wedding party.”—clockworkMoose
Wedding-day retribution
“I'm a photographer and was working with a super-sweet couple. Everything was normal up until the cocktail hour. My partner and I were setting stuff up for the reception, and the groom comes up to us and asks the DJ if he can play a video for his wife. We assume it's some cute slideshow or something. Toasts happen, then the video starts to play. Turns out the bride was sleeping with the best man, and the video was from a PI. The whole room went silent...
Bride runs out, best man goes to follow her, groom's father punches best man out.Everyone else ended up staying and having a great party. Super-nice people. I ended up shooting the groom's second wedding.I asked him why we went though with it — apparently they had a prenup. At the time of divorce, if adultery could be proven, the offending party owed the other 15k.”—jacconnor
Playing the long game
“My uncle was a prominent, busy, doctor. My aunt, a stay-at-home mother-of-two. My uncle was very rigid and authoritative and had to have things just so: a certain breakfast at a specific time every morning, his clothes folded or hung in a particular way, a specific drink waiting for him upon his return home, and a specific dinner at a given time every night, based on a rotating menu: pork chops say, Monday, Turkey, Tuesday, et cetera...
This went on for decades, until he eventually passed.Regardless, one night was meatloaf night, and after years of no complaints, my uncle erupts, screaming at my aunt that her meatloaf is simply garbage, how could she not be able to cook something so simple, et al, and literally fires his full dinner plate across the room.My aunt, his submissive, quiet, loyal servant over their then-20-or-so years of marriage, simply apologizes and cleans up, promising to improve her recipe.It was only after my uncle died — they were married for 52 years — that she admitted to my mother that she’d fed him meatloaf solely of Alpo (wet, canned dog food) for the past 30 years [without] a complaint.”–Heltoupe
Elevator vengeance
“I was staying in an older hotel in San Francisco. The elevator was very small, very old school and had signage everywhere about how you couldn't operate it with more than four people. I'd also been stuck in there twice already that weekend. Each time, I called the front desk and they were able to recall it to the ground floor but I'd learned to be wary. I should have started taking the stairs, but was on the eighth floor and was feeling lazy. So on Sunday morning, I waited for the elevator for quite a while. It arrives, I hop in, and a family of five walks up to the elevator and follows me in. They were all large people and they all had huge suitcases...
I politely pointed out the sign and said that I'd already been stuck in the elevator twice and that we should split the group into two. They laughed and said they were all staying on. Well, I thought, enjoy your ride.I proceeded to run up the stairs and hit the call button on every single floor. The best part was that I could hear them complaining from the stairwell every time the elevator opened and nobody was there. Petty revenge never felt so good.”—chicagojess312
Short, but sweet
“My boss refused to let me take a weekend off for my best friend’s wedding because a co-worker was already taking the time off for a dirty weekend away with the married guy she was having an affair with. The married guy was my boss, by the way...
I was a bridesmaid and had booked the weekend off ten months in advance. So I did what I had to do.I quit on the spot and told my boss’ wife he was cheating on her. My best friend’s wedding was lovely.”—ColdHeartedSleuth
Hotel worker's genius revenge
“I recently started a new job as a housekeeper at a popular chain hotel and while I'm enjoying it, the vomit rooms from stag dos etc really irritate me. They always somehow manage to get it on the only carpeted area of the room and it puts me behind schedule having to scrub at the carpet. This one room today really took it to the next level, rubbish scattered about, food jammed down the sides of the bed as well as vomit patches all over the room. It took a while to get through all the mess but toward the end of clearing, I found a birthday card addressed to the guest on the floor. The card was open and read 'Happy Birthday (guest), I love you so much. Have a great birthday weekend away, I'm going to miss you so much - love Beth'. I picked up the card to bin it and when I closed it I saw the front read 'To my amazing boyfriend on his birthday'. My eyebrows immediately raised; I had just picked up multiple condom wrappers, seen the used ones in the bin as well as finding a pair of used women's underwear and a torn dress in the sheets...
I was originally going to throw the dress and underwear away as they were both clearly torn beyond wear and the guest had most likely intended for me to do that but damn I was mad about that vomit and crusty food.This poor girl has been cheated on by a man who trashed the hotel room but luckily for her he pissed me off. I took the torn dress and underwear down to reception and logged them into our lost-and-found with the room number attached. Our system always sends a copy of lost-item emails to the emergency contact as well just in case the guest misses the email. The cheater and his emergency contact will soon receive a friendly email with a photograph of the "forgotten" items and a description of what they are and where they were found in the room. Who is his emergency contact? His girlfriend, Beth.If you're gonna cheat on your s/o don't piss off the housekeeper.”
The sandwich thief
“I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class. One day as I'm about to eat my sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back into the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I'm pretty annoyed so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is. So on the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom...
This time I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school, because my study hall teacher would only let one guy leave the class at a time, even for water. After about ten minutes I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.”—iwmcguy
Salad switcheroo
“In seventh grade I used to take home-made lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil, etc), and one kid decided it would be good to steal it, and drink it before lunch time. I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it, but started doing so in one gulp so I couldn't stop him.So instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings...
One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom's kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it.He never stole my salad dressing again.”—pipenho