This article was originally published on WHerMoments
When Shelley Pitts gave her baby son up for adoption, emotions were running high. The scared 14-year-old didn’t have any loved ones by her side during the delivery, and the new mom was convinced that she’d never see her child again. But this dire situation changed dramatically more than three decades later when Shelley saw a Facebook photo.
An emotional journey
But that one Facebook photo would only mark the beginning of a stunning new chapter in this 33-year drama. Shelley took us through a deep dive into the emotional journey in a lengthy post on the Love What Matters website.
It turned out that the drama began back in the late 1980s in Texas.
Shelley’s reaction to the news
Shelley was just a teenager when she discovered that she was with child. And it’s fair to say that the news left her utterly shocked.
In fact, such was her state of mind that the Texan initially refused to accept the reality of the situation. “In my naïveté, I thought I could will the pregnancy out of my body,” Shelley wrote.
All too real
“Maybe if I didn’t acknowledge my lack of a menstrual cycle for two months, it wouldn’t be real,” she continued. “‘I’m too young to have a baby,’ I said to myself.
Why hadn’t I told my mom to put me on birth control? What were people going to say?”
Carrying on as normal
Given Shelley’s age at the time, you can certainly understand that reaction. So, she went ahead with her plan of essentially ignoring the pregnancy.
This meant that those around her were none the wiser — for the time being, at least. Yet the expectant mom ultimately realized that this couldn’t last. People would eventually start to notice something was up.
Sharing the news... quietly
Shelley decided to share the big news as her first trimester was coming to an end. But she didn’t inform everyone.
Instead, the Texas resident just spoke to the baby’s dad. His name’s Sidney, and he’d been in a relationship with her for quite a while prior to the life-changing bombshell.
Sidney’s response
How did Sidney take the news? Quite well, actually.
Shelley revealed that her partner was immediately supportive, with discussions soon turning to their unborn child. “We talked about whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, who the baby would look like, and what we would name it,” she recalled.
The backlash
Yet, while that must’ve felt like a weight lifted off Shelley’s shoulders, she could hardly relax. The mom continued, “Even though in our immaturity we were excited about the thought of a baby, we were scared and worried about the backlash we’d get in telling our parents.
So we put off telling them because it was easier to not think about it.”
Hiding the bump
Shelley and Sidney didn’t let anyone else know, either. But that was easier said than done.
Due to her growing midriff, the teenager was forced to get creative in how to hide it. Cleverly positioning cushions and wearing large shirts were just a couple of the tactics she employed.
High school chatter
Despite Shelley’s best efforts, though, her classmates began to realize what was going on. Then stories started to spread across the entire school.
It was a hot topic! Yet when some of the staff picked up on the situation, they didn’t pull the young couple aside to talk. In fact, no one really broached the subject head-on. Why?
Texas taboo
Shelley explained, “It was taboo for more reasons than just a teenage pregnancy. We were the only interracial couple who was fully public and out for everyone to see.
We didn’t hide our relationship like so many other couples where the boy was black and the girl was white, even if it was the expectation in Texas during the late ’80s.”
Time to speak up
“We were in love and determined to stand together,” Shelley continued. “We endured whatever was thrown our way.
This would just be another thing to overcome.” Regardless of how people viewed their relationship, though, an unavoidable conversation was fast approaching. Yep, the parents-to-be needed to inform their own folks of what was happening.
A unanimous decision
We can only imagine how tense that moment must’ve been. But after Shelley and Sidney spilled the beans, their respective folks looked ahead to the future.
What would happen to the child? In the end, the two parties came to an agreement: their grandkid had to be put up for adoption.
Shelley didn’t disagree
According to Shelley, she didn’t fight back against that decision at the time. In her mind, it “seemed like the right thing to do.”
The teen went on to maintain that line of thinking as the pregnancy progressed, refusing to give in to doubt. And that brings us to the next significant moment of this story.
All alone
“The adoption agency we went through was the only one that would help someone with a biracial baby,” Shelley explained. “They offered a home to stay in during the pregnancy, which helped with doctor’s appointments, staying in school full-time, and providing a Christian-based counseling program and church family.
Although they were welcoming, it was awkward and lonely.”
The waiting game
“Leaving Sidney behind was gut-wrenching,” Shelley recalled. “I was accustomed to seeing him almost every day, and now all we had were brief phone calls and letters.
I was due at the end of March. That was four months away. I was four hours from home, and the days dragged.”
Getting through it
To get Shelley through that tricky spell, her mother would occasionally drop by towards the end of the week. Plus, as she just highlighted, she received correspondence from Sidney and members of her family in the mail.
Remember, social media wasn’t a thing back in the ’80s!
A baby boy
Yet as difficult as those months were, it wasn’t all bad. For instance, Shelley’s face lit up when she was told she’d be having a son.
As the big day approached, though, you wouldn’t have blamed the teenager for feeling afraid. None of her loved ones were around, and they ultimately didn’t arrive for the delivery.
“It was surreal”
It wasn’t for a lack of trying, though. Shelley’s mother simply ran out of time getting there, while Sidney was barred from visiting by his folks.
As for the delivery itself, Shelley recalled, “It was surreal. I hardly spoke at all and followed the directions given to me like a robot. I breathed out when they told me to. I pushed when they told me to.”
Holding the baby
Shelley eventually gave birth to her little boy in the early afternoon of March 29, 1988. She went on to hold the tiny bundle of joy, ignoring the advice of the facility’s staff.
Because the teen was giving the baby up, they feared that she could suffer overwhelming distress when handing him over.
No tears... at first
Yet that didn’t appear to happen. Shelley refused to shed a single tear as she said goodbye to her baby.
In fact, the new mom believed that she “didn’t have the right” to weep. But this mindset changed when she started to make her way back home later on in the day.
“A better life”
As Shelley wrote on Love What Matters, “I made it all the way to the car with no show of emotion, but when I buckled myself in, I felt a lump form in my throat. Looking out the window as we left, tears fell down my face.
‘Stop crying, Shelley,’ I said to myself. ‘He will have a better life.’ He had to.”
Moving on?
After that emotionally draining day, Shelley tried to move on with her life. She even started a family a few years later, welcoming three little girls into the world before splitting from her husband.
But despite all that, the Texan didn’t forget about her son. He was always in her mind.
“He dominated my thoughts”
“I would silently celebrate my son’s birthday each year,” Shelley revealed. “Although I thought of him constantly, he dominated my thoughts every March 29.
I always envisioned he had the same stocky, muscular build as his father. I saw him having my eyes and his father’s smile. I wondered if he was happy.”
No information
Shelley didn’t tell too many folks about him as the years rolled on, only informing some pals and her three daughters. In truth, there wasn’t much to say — she didn’t know much about the adoption process or even her son’s name.
Yet that all changed in 2021.
A potential lead
Shelley believed her son would start to look for her as he hit his 30s, so she started to join “adoption Facebook pages.” From there, the mom stumbled across a potential lead in March 2021, just before her son would be due to turn 33.
Then, after doing some additional digging, she found a profile for a guy named Daniel Smith.
Those eyes
“I scrolled down the page searching for any indication this was my son,” Shelley recalled. “I got to a picture of a young man in a heavy coat taking a selfie in the snow.
The eyes staring back at me were mine. The lips were his father’s. I knew it instantaneously. I found my son!” And this happened on March 29. How fitting!
Making contact
At that point, Shelley contacted Daniel via Facebook. A couple of days passed without reply, so she then reached out to his partner.
Thankfully for Shelley, that was the breakthrough she’d yearned for. Just hours later, Daniel got in touch with his biological mother. But how would that long-awaited conversation go? Could they ever bridge the gap caused by the 33-year separation?
“I love you”
Well, one of Daniel’s messages to Shelley made the situation a lot clearer. It read, “This is like a dream almost.
There are a million things I want to say, and at the same time, I can’t find the words. Just know I love you. I have never once been upset with you.”
What about Sidney?
Shelley was overjoyed with those words. Wouldn’t you be?
The pair went on to chat on the phone for the next few hours, as they finally got to know each other. But it wasn’t all good news. As it turned out, Daniel couldn’t reconnect with Sidney — his biological dad had passed away back in the early 1990s.
The bond continued to grow
Talk about a gut punch. Yet while that sadness no doubt lingered, Shelley and Daniel continued to form a bond with their lengthy conversations.
Yep, the mom and son started speaking daily, learning more from every chat. For instance, she discovered that she had three grandkids. How cool is that?!
Excitement sets in
As those chats went on, Shelley shared the news with her daughters as well. “They were so excited,” she wrote.
“They asked where he lived, if he had children, and to see every picture I could get a hold of. They all added him on Facebook, and although their conversations were shorter than ours, they wanted to meet him soon.”
Miles apart
That does raise a good question: where did Daniel live? Well, he had a place out in Virginia, so he couldn’t have been much further away from Texas!
Still, that didn’t stop his mom and sisters from looking ahead. One way or another, an in-person reunion was going to happen.
“I could barely stand still”
So on April 29, 2021 — 33 years after he was last in Texas — Daniel returned to the Lone Star State. And to say his mom was delighted would be quite an understatement.
Shelley admitted, “The anticipation at the airport was almost too much, and I was so excited I could barely stand still.”
The reunion
“The first hug from Daniel was unlike anything I’d ever felt,” Shelley continued. “My heart filled up and overflowed.
‘I can’t believe you’re finally here,’ I kept saying into his ear. All he could do was laugh under his breath. The moment had made him speechless and understandably so. My son was home.”
A week together
Is anyone else welling up here? Or is it just us?
Daniel stayed in Texas for a week, during which time he was introduced to his relatives. They all had a lot of catching up to do! As for Shelley, though, she was eager to share as much about Sidney as she possibly could while her son was there.
Remembering Sidney
Shelley handed over the messages Sidney had penned while they were apart just before Daniel’s birth. On top of that, she shared some other written correspondence from his dad, too.
“I wanted to give him a piece of his father to take back to Virginia with him,” the mother explained. “He deserved at least that much.”
Saying goodbye again
But before they knew it, Daniel’s spell in Texas came to a close — and Shelley found it tough to say goodbye. But unlike their first farewell, she knew that this wouldn’t be the last time she’d see him.
As the mom revealed with her closing words on Love What Matters, they had big plans ahead.
“Share it with the world”
“We’re both planning on things involving our journey on a grander scale. We want to share it with the world,” Shelley wrote.
“We want to inspire hope and spread a message of love. I hope other adoptees and birth parents can find the courage to take the leap towards finding their families. It could change your entire existence. The possibilities are endless!”
A viral hit
Since then, Shelley may well have found her “grander scale.” In November 2021 she took to Facebook to reveal that a TikTok clip of her reunion with Daniel had done huge numbers.
The mother-of-four wasn’t exaggerating, either — it’s earned over one million views so far. Wow! This could have all gone incredibly wrong, of course. If Daniel had been anything like a teenaged Steve Lickteig, for example, the story would have been very different.
Shadow Hanging Over Him
Lickteig's reaction to finding out about his adoption was reasonable, though — considering everything he'd known had turned out to be lies. Before that fateful day, you see, Steve Lickteig had been just one of nine regular kids living on a farm in Kansas.
He knew that he was adopted, but that wasn't a problem... at first.
The First Meeting
The story that Steve had grown up believing was that he was simply taken in by Don and Mary Jane Lickteig. Don was a veteran of the Second World War, and Mary was his devoted wife and mother to his eight biological kids.
And — so the tale went — the Lickteigs saw baby orphan Steve in a nursery, fell in love, and eventually adopted him. He had no reason to think it was all a lie.
Welcoming One More
"I always wondered why Mom and Dad wanted me, after having so many kids of their own," Steve said in his documentary Open Secret. "But my childhood was great."
He described an idyllic life on the Kansas farm, with Mary in charge of the kids and Don in charge of the land. They were, for all appearances, one big happy family.
The Perfect Life
As he grew up, of course, Steve did start to think about who his biological parents could be. But he didn't obsess about it, figuring he'd find out one day.
In the meantime, he hung out with his two brothers and six sisters. "I was a really happy-go-lucky guy in high school," he told NPR in 2013. Then everything changed.
The Future Beckons
Steve actually uncovered the truth about his adoptive parents on the night before his high school graduation. This is a big time in everybody's life, for sure — when your present and future are about to change forever.
Yet there was a terrible surprise waiting for this teenager that he could never have anticipated.
Secrets Are Spilled
On the night before graduation, Steve found out his family secret through two of his friends, Vance and Alan. "They walked into my bedroom, and they shut the door, and Vance said, you know, 'We have something we want to tell you,'" Steve explained to NPR.
"He said, 'I know who your mom is.'"
His Biological Mother
Steve was shocked into a stunned silence... so Alan and Vance just kept on talking.
"They told me who my mother was. And they told me that they had known for basically their entire lives, and that everybody I had grown up with had known for their entire lives, and they felt that this was the time that I needed to know," Steve later explained.
Her Name
In fact, it was the revelation that everybody else already knew the truth that hit Steve the hardest. "It was this knowledge of who I was that was out in the open, out in the world, and I had no control over it," Steve said.
And in the very moment that Steve found out his family's open secret, he did... nothing. But the inaction didn't last long.
Common Life
"I didn't say anything to anybody after I found out," Steve told NPR. "This was the middle of May 1987.
I had a high school graduation the next night, went to it, actually spoke at the graduation, went to all the parties, did everything." It would be more than a month before his feelings came pouring out.
His Troubled Mind
It took a very specific event to force Steve to confront his adoptive parents as well.
If you were to look at the picture of Steve at his high school graduation — his arms thrown around Mary and Don — you'd have no idea that this young man was seething with anger.
Caught in the Act
But one night, Steve's adoptive mom caught him in a "sort of compromising situation." And while that proved to initially be an awkward moment, it gave this angry teenaged man the perfect opportunity to force the truth into the open.
What followed would not be a pretty scene.
The Abstinence Talk
"The next morning, my mom turned on one of those television preachers, and she turned the TV up really loud, and the preacher was teaching abstinence," Steve told NPR. That was too much for Steve.
He rushed out of his bedroom and laid his cards on the table...
Steve Forces A Confrontation
"Oh, did you play this same thing for Joanie?" he asked his adoptive parents. "Did you teach Joanie abstinence as she got pregnant with me?" Here, at last, was the truth: Steve knew that Joanie was his biological mother.
Joanie — the woman he'd been raised to believe was his older sister. There was no going back now.
California Dreaming
It turned out that, as a young woman, Joanie had clashed with her mother a lot. So, when she was 20 years old, she took the first chance she could to get away from the Kansas farm.
She left to work at a girls' home in Los Angeles. But this would be no Hollywood tale.
Her Leading Man
In LA, she met a charming older man called Henry. He had an alluring accent and a job, and that was enough for an inexperienced young woman from Kansas.
They had a brief affair before Joanie moved back home to go back to school. And then... Well, Joanie found out she was pregnant.
Her Only Option
Joanie told Henry, but Henry didn't offer much in the way of help. The exact details of what happened next have been mudded by time and the differing versions told by those involved.
But one way or the other, a plan was hatched to hide this illegitimate child in plain sight.
Fake Adoption
Rather than letting Joanie raise Steve, Mary Jane and Don decided to claim the baby as their "adopted" son. The older members of the family knew the truth, but nobody told Steve.
In fact, even though everyone around town was aware of the real story, no one — other than Alan and Vance — could bring themselves to spill the beans.
Making Peace
After Steve did discover the truth, he fled his home, found a hotel, and got through with the help of his pals. He also struggled to get his life straight throughout his 20s.
But, eventually, he and Joanie found some kind of peace. Blood is, after all, thicker than water.
Mending The Bridge
"[Our relationship is] not the best, but it's not horrible, either," he explained on Today in 2019. "It's just been hard for me.
I feel like we are ultimately going to be in a good place." But this is not the only example of adoptees seeking out their biological families — with jaw-dropping results.
Abandonment
A woman named Denise was told her family left her behind at a hospital in South Korea because she was too sick to care for, but Denise let go of what could have been.
That frustration and pain, coupled with the fact that she felt alone in Vermont, convinced her that she needed to find her own way.
Fitting In
Her adoptive parents were white, and they lived in an area where there were no other Asian people. It didn't necessarily mean that Denise was unloved or always treated differently, but it was an everyday challenge to fit in.
As she grew into adulthood, she realized that following her heart and discovering her native roots was something she had to do.
Traveling Home
It was around the time she turned 40, in 2016, that Denise first traveled to South Korea, where she was born. She didn't know what she would find there, but she hoped it would come with closure.
It turned out to be more eventful than she could have hoped.
Finding A Way
While in South Korea, Denise came across a government program that helped South Korean adoptees find their biological parents. All she had to do was send in a piece of her DNA, and hopefully, there would be a match.
She wound up waiting for four years but found that the wait was worth it in the end.
Long Awaited Call
Once she returned to the stateside, she more or less forgot about the DNA test. Then, one day in early October of 2020, she received a phone call from the South Korean program — they'd found a match!
The problem, however, was that she couldn't see them.
Distant Relatives
With the coronavirus pandemic in full swing, people had to stay socially distant — so international travel wasn't an option.
When Denise heard about her biological family, she still couldn't help but feel overjoyed, and she proposed an alternative.
Family Meet
They would meet over Zoom that month. Denise waited with bated breath in front of her laptop for the Zoom video meeting to begin.
She wasn't sure what to expect — what would her family be like? would they explain why they left her? — but she knew she'd have her answers. When the cameras began rolling, so did the tears.
Virtual Reunion
The screen turned on. Denise's mother, sister, and brother were virtually sitting right in front of her.
Even with their face masks on, she could see the tears and emotions pouring out of them right away. They didn't look like people who would deliberately abandon a helpless baby.
Reveal
It turned out that they didn't. Denise's family shared the whole story, starting with Denise's birth name.
Her older brother, twin sister, and omma — which is the Korean word for mom — called her Sang-Ae and explained how she'd gone missing for a little over four decades.
Last Market Trip
It happened back in 1976, when Denise and her twin sister, Sang-Hee, were only about 2 years old. On one warm June day, their grandmother took the twins out to the market, which was dreadfully busy at the time.
There were so many people that their grandmother lost sight of both of them at once. She didn't waste any time trying to find them.
Missing
Their grandma looked high and low for both her granddaughters, and at last, she found Sang-Hee, but Sang-Ae — now Denise — was nowhere to be found. The family was broken up about the loss.
Their father completely lost himself to alcoholism over the grief, but they never gave up hope in the end.
Overcoming Grief
While the father struggled to hold himself together, eventually dying of liver disease about 20 years later, the family kept themselves together as best as they could.
They never left the neighborhood, never stopped making flyers to find Denise, and even came up with a clever plan in hopes that they'd cross paths with her again.
Family Business
The family set up a shop of their own in the very same market where Denise went missing as a toddler.
They hoped she'd come back in search of her family, but there was no way that would happen right away, not with what Denise was led to believe, and where life had taken her.
Already Gone
The orphanage that took Denise in was unaware of what had happened. All they knew was that a baby was left in a hospital in bad condition.
With no contact with the family, they allowed Denise to be adopted by the American couple that Denise would call mom and dad for the next 40 years.
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Denise also learned that after she visited South Korea and entered her DNA in the government program, her mother did the same a year later in 2017.
It seems like it was meant to be, as thousands of South Korean adoptees may never find a match for one reason or another.
Crossing Over
All her life, Denise thought she was left behind, but there her family was, relieved to finally find her after so many decades of searching.
She now knew that the only things that separated them were international borders, and none of them could wait to cross over.
Making Family Time
The reunited family made plans to see each other in person following the end of the pandemic. They even have their sights on vacation time together in Hawaii.
As tragic as the story has been, they're just happy to be together again. Denise finally feels less alone, especially with a twin who's just like her.
Getting To Know You
Denise shares that "she and her twin sister don’t just look alike, but they also have the same voice, like the same colors and foods, love traveling and have the same sense of humor." As amazing as it was to meet with them, she was saddened by the absences of her grandmother and father.
But the optimistic family looked at the loss in a happier light.
Feeling Love
"I know he was there in spirit because I think that he just made this happen and I think that my maternal grandmother who lost us that day... I know she was there as well.
I could just tell", shared Denise. For her, finding them brings her a feeling of completeness, "To have that missing piece of what happened to me is just incredibly overwhelming and happy and it makes me feel whole.”