20 Animal Fails So Stupid That You Won’t Be Able To Stop Yourself Laughing

Animals are dumb. Dogs love nothing more than barking at cars or running around in circles. Birds still don’t seem to have worked out the physical properties of windows. And we’re beginning to suspect that cats actually have nine lives – because they really need some backups for every time they try to jump a medium-sized gap. Fortunately for us, dumb animals are hilarious. However, the idiocy doesn’t just affect domesticated species. In fact, even the cunning predators of the world have their own facepalm moments – or they would if they had palms. We’ve collected some of our favorite fails from the animal kingdom, and if you’re anything like us, you won’t even feel that bad for laughing at these silly creatures.

We’ve seen a seal on an iceberg before, but this is the first iceberg we’ve ever seen on a seal. We’re just starting to realize, though, that a film about a vegan version of Flipper would have been a very different movie indeed.

This headfirst facepalm might be a good indicator of why pandas are struggling to survive as a species. While those little waggling legs may be decidedly cute, this guy is as defenseless as a turtle stuck on his back.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Oh noooo! I’m stuck in a toob. They said it would be slimming, but I didn’t sign up for this! Howmah gonna weasel my way otter this one? Someone help! I’m just an armless ferret!”

Poor Mufasa was so exhausted from sleeping in a sun-patch all day that he couldn’t muster the strength for that final climb. Instead, there’s the slow slide down the side of the couch. Just out of the frame there’s a kitten called Simba who’s about to be Scarred for life…

ADVERTISEMENT

Okay, let’s start with the obvious: there’s a lizard on that cat’s nose. Right from the gecko we know that’s weird, right? It’s a David and Goliath battle, but we know who we’d bet on. Get off that cat’s nose while you still have time, lizard! We can already tell that this tail doesn’t end well…

ADVERTISEMENT

On his days off from saving the world, Mighty Mouse in fact likes to get oiled up and train for American Ninja Warrior. He hopes to not only be the first mouse to complete the course but to beat any feline records, too.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Hedgehog was here and now hedgehog is gone. All is now tube. Was hedgehog ever really real?” *sigh* “Hedgehog needs to stop eating every mushroom he finds in the woods.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Galah Cockatoos can fly in winding woodland. They can sing and almost perfectly reproduce the voices that they hear. They are an intelligent, majestic bird. But can they do stairs? Nope. They go rigid and start doing forward rolls.

ADVERTISEMENT

The funny thing about this is that garage doors go up really slowly. This lazy cat must have seen his impending doom long before it happened and still managed to get stuck. Don’t worry, though; he was fine… after he got rescued by the police.

ADVERTISEMENT

This round raccoon managed to get himself stuck headfirst in an army tank. Luckily, some soldiers were on hand, and they eventually managed to pull him free. Poor little guy probably thought he’d find some food in there – and not internet fame.

ADVERTISEMENT

Kitty, just because he bit you doesn’t mean you need to bite him back. While we might normally give points for perseverance, in this case we can only hope you give up as soon as possible. For everyone’s sake.

ADVERTISEMENT

Bird 1: Mmmph furmurm mmf phurmmpfh mm mmph ma mmph mmorrumph
*spit*
Bird 2: What?
Bird 1: I said – thank God you’re just a tit and not a swallow.

ADVERTISEMENT

Now, most music aficionados know that a standard classical guitar has six strings and 19 frets on the neck with which to manipulate them. But did you know a sharp smack on the base of the guitar unleashes a secret, angry, 20th f’ret?

ADVERTISEMENT

This one isn’t actually a fail. This is one comfy bird who’s jammed himself perfectly in his element. “Oh, what’s that? You are stuck. Ah, right. I guess we’ll have to lever you out then…”

ADVERTISEMENT

You know there’s a real shortage of food when crocs have to start turning on their own kind for sustenance. Let’s just hope that there wasn’t a man attached to that Croc, since this could have been a whole different story: “Croc eats man, saves Crocs.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Now, this is dumb. Question: would you try and pull this guy out by his adorable tiny feet or just pop him into the cage like a fat little cork? Either way, though, you’re going to need to buy yourself a bigger bowl-hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

See, some dumb cats can’t even read basic English. Indeed, her expression seems to say, “What are you laughing at?” Well, you’ll know soon, little lady. And it’s going to be a sticky day indeed for you. However, definitely don’t try to lick it off.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is what happens when you’re a red squirrel and you try to muscle your way into a grey squirrel’s feeding grounds. You get caught by King Squizzle the Grey, and he subsequently sentences you to a day in the stocks. We assume.

ADVERTISEMENT

Raccoons are taking fashion way too far nowadays. If you ask us, that is unnecessarily excessive bling – even if this critter can strike a fierce pose. In fact, we’d go as far as saying that that’s also too much eyeshadow.

ADVERTISEMENT

You know you’re a stupid polar bear when you mistake your buddy’s pee for a hot shower. You have literally never even heard of a hot shower, bear. What makes you think you suddenly found one now?

ADVERTISEMENT

As we’ve seen, watching animals navigate the world around them can be downright hilarious. And it’s even funnier when they’re figuring things out for the very first time. Whether they’re stumbling upon new scents, flavors or feelings, these animals have entered unknown territory. And, boy, are they confused.

ADVERTISEMENT

The owner of this house of cats was using a vacuum cleaner for the first time. We love how the cat at the back is like, “My last owners had a scream machine. He’s releasing the souls of dead cats. You’ll get used to it.”

ADVERTISEMENT

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, SHEILA? WHAT DOES IT WANT? DOES IT WANT MY STICK? IT CAN HAVE MY STICK! IS IT A DINOSAUR? DON’T BRING ME TO A PARK FULL OF DINOSAURS, SHEILA! I’M FINE IN THE GARDEN.”

ADVERTISEMENT

First time seeing a tiny pink human? It’s an experience that has blown this moggy’s mind. That 100-yard stare contains 1000 thoughts and possibilities, such as, “How did this happen? Do I still get fed first? Seriously, how did this get here and is it staying?”

ADVERTISEMENT

This magnificent little redhead is a house-cat taking in his first moments outdoors. You can see the emotional rollercoaster as he switches from bemused panic to pure contentment. Either that, or he’s just smelled some fish.

ADVERTISEMENT

Christmas trees are a spectacle, but this cat’s first experience of one was a mind-bending trip. It must seem like the entire cosmos is laid out before him in festive decorations. Take it in, little guy. You have been enlightened.

ADVERTISEMENT

Can you guess what has these kitties so shocked and fascinated? It was actually their first time seeing a moving ceiling fan. And it must have been a pretty powerful experience, given that these cats look like they’re about to say, “Whooooah.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Spotted: dalmatian on a train. This poor guy needed lots of reassuring cuddles to get him through his first journey, because dalmatians aren’t made for trains. Indeed, they’re made for frolicking and – if you’re a bit of a Cruella – fur coats.

ADVERTISEMENT

“AAAARRGGHHH! WHAT IS THIS? IT’S SUPER COLD AND HAVE YOU SEEN HOW WHITE IT IS?”
“It’s called snow, Rover. It can’t hurt you.”
“I THINK I LIKE IT BUT I AM ALSO SUPER SCARED BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE BUT IT’S FUN BUT I’M SCARED!”

ADVERTISEMENT

Cat: “Ay, yo! Have you seen this?”
Owner: “Oh look, yeah, it’s snowing.”
Cat: “Dude, are we… are we gonna die?”
Owner: “It’s just frozen droplets of water falling from the sky.”
Cat: “And you’re okay with this?”

ADVERTISEMENT

When you’re an apartment cat you only have to worry about carpets and calm. Imagine how overwhelming your first steps into the wide world would be – all grassy and breezy. We’d probably carry a fake leg around to bat away baddies, too.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is a huge first for a pup transitioning into adult life. Yes, he ordered his own Uber and passed out drunk in the back seat. Not really; he’s just enjoying every dog’s rite of passage – the “breezy fur fluffer.”

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s funny when we do it to babies. But how much greater is it to see this pom-pom cringe through a lime-tasting? You learned a huge lesson today, little buddy: life can be sweet, but you need to prepare yourself for its sharp edges.

ADVERTISEMENT

On his first time out in public, Ralph not only melted hearts but he actually melted for real. He had a rare disease called puddle-pup. This is the moment just before his spine began melting into the floor. So, you know, cute can also be tragic.

ADVERTISEMENT

Apparently, after several failed attempts this cat finally managed to jump into the fridge. Its face just screams of both pride and instant regret. What are you going to do now, chilly kitty? You didn’t think this through, did you?

ADVERTISEMENT

We have some questions. Since when were rats cute? Why is he sticking his tongue out at us? Isn’t it a bit weird to give a watermelon to a rat? Can we keep it? And finally: why does it think its first watermelon is a keyboard?

ADVERTISEMENT

This dog’s first experience of grass was so transcendental that she hovered just above the ground all day. Indeed, she’s such a bundle of happy fluff that her unbridled joy is a more powerful force than the gravity holding her down.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is probably the most appropriate reaction to the first time you find yourself in a field full of cocaine. These shots were actually an outtake from Narcos Season 2, but they couldn’t use the scene out of respect to the now-very-dead cat.

ADVERTISEMENT

We understand this dog’s trepidation at seeing kittens for the first time. As you can see, they’ve already joined up as a pack and you can tell the little tigger on the right it sizing up the carotid artery. There’s no way the hound can win this one.

ADVERTISEMENT

He’d tasted many things in his young life, but peanut butter was just a little too much to handle. Indeed, life had been full and joyous, but now it was finally complete. Peanut butter is a hell of a drug.

ADVERTISEMENT

Owner: “Hey kitty, where have you been?”
Cat: “Outside…”
Owner: “First time, huh? Have fun?”
Cat: “I found candy floss but it was NOT as tasty as promised. I ate, like, a pound of it, too. Did you know it’s full of spiders? And they are angry.”

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT