Apparently, designing kids’ toys is a lot more difficult than anyone realized. How else do you explain these embarrassing gaffes? Indeed, from fundamental flaws to extreme innuendos, these toys are littered with design fails that would make anyone blush. Just make sure there’s nobody looking over your shoulder when you peruse them…
20. Freaky Chikapu
Introducing Chikapu, star of the Bizarro Pokémon universe. Really, whoever was responsible for this atrocity must never have seen an episode of Pokémon. But even then, why was their assumption that Pikachu has two tails, and lightning poking out of his head?
19. Austrian 4×4
Ah, Austria. That well-known land of tropical oases, deserts and kangaroos. Okay, there are only two letters of difference between Austria and Australia, but the actual difference between the two countries couldn’t be bigger. So when it comes to something like this, it’s a mistake you don’t really want to make.
18. Four-legged duck
What do you mean, ducks don’t have four legs? And they aren’t supposed to make it look like a weird mix between a dog and a dinosaur? Well, color us surprised. Yeah, we’re starting to think this isn’t actually a duck at all. Instead, it’s totally the soft toy version of a lab experiment gone wrong.
17. Big-nosed Cinderella
Poor Cinderella. We guess this version really didn’t make it back before midnight. And her punishment? Well, a new nose, obviously. Yes, this is definitely one of the most poorly-planned puzzles we’ve ever seen. Surely somebody along the production line might have thought to point it out…
16. Queen of clubs
Let’s say you’re putting together a deck of cards, themed on Disney villains. And one of those villains is Alice in Wonderland’s Queen of Hearts. Yes, it’s basically the easiest decision you’d ever have as a designer. Unless you’re the brains behind this particular deck, that is. Because for whatever reason, the Queen of Hearts is actually the three of clubs. Genius.
15. Russian dolls
You can’t deny the amount of effort that’s gone into the largest of these Russian dolls. But you can almost visualize from the rest of them just how progressively less interested the artist clearly became as they went on. Sure, it can be harder to include detail on smaller objects, but this just takes the cake.
14. Scary Elmo
Well, the box isn’t lying when it says Elmo does “so much more.” It just neglects to mention that one of those things is smothering your child with his massive, furry red hand. Luckily, there’s a picture of the horrific act to clue you in before purchasing what would undoubtedly be a box of perpetual nightmares for your kids.
13. ’Copter plane
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a… well, it says plane. Maybe whoever was responsible for this just thought “plane” was a blanket term for anything that facilitates air travel. Either that, or Plane is actually somebody’s name. Whatever the explanation, it sure is a stretch when they could have just as easily printed “helicopter” instead.
Even beyond the obvious, quite why Spider-Man needs a quad bike at all is a mystery to us. In fact, is there any sensible reason why this monochromatic version of the webbed superhero needs to detach in the first place? It’s not as if you can do much with him frozen in that pose. Truly, this toy boggles the mind…
11. Weird dinosaur
Apparently, the owners of this, erm, “dinosaur” refer to it as “sneaky dinosaur.” Really, it’s not hard to see why – although a more fitting name might be the “creepy dinosaur.” Indeed, that expression, its total lack of neck and its short, T-rex style arms all combine to give off a decidedly uncomfortable vibe.
10. Winnie the who?
Winnie the Pooh looks like he’s had more than just honey here. Yes, perhaps he stumbled upon a mushroom of a different kind while walking through the woods. Quite where Christopher Robin ended up, we’ll probably never know. But we’re totally on board with this new, R-rated reinvention of the classic kids’ character.
9. Creepy baby
Well, it’s an enticing proposition, “sweet baby,” but we think we’re going to have to pass. You see, we sort of value our cognitive ability, and we get the feeling that’s something we’d be putting at serious risk to have “fun” with you. Those eyes will be haunting our dreams for months…
8. R-rated Santa
We can’t even begin to fathom the thinking behind this. Most of these types of innuendo-filled fails can be explained away as innocent, innocuous mistakes. But Santa even has his arms behind his head here. And, coupled with no reasonable explanation for the elves’ position, we have to assume that this was 100 percent intentional.
7. Baby “toys”
These are, apparently, baby toys. For what baby, we’re not quite sure. Maybe an adult baby, if that’s the kind of thing you’re into in the bedroom? We certainly wouldn’t be giving them to an actual infant. Indeed, even if they didn’t understand the connotations, it would still be way too uncomfortable to watch them playing with them.
6. Batman water gun
Holy squirt gun, Batman! Okay, so we can’t think of a more appropriate way to position a human body as a water gun – bending him over backwards wouldn’t really help – but in that case, maybe they just shouldn’t have done it at all? That facial expression isn’t helping, either…
5. Limbless bear
We have so many questions. First and foremost, who was undressing this bear?! But, more pertinently, why is it just a pair of legs on a head? We guess whoever stitched this monstrosity was banking on it never being undressed. But they clearly didn’t account for whoever took these revealing pictures.
4. Hybrid toys
Okay, so knock-off toys are known for their terrible design. But even if they mix up Batman and the Power Rangers, why is every single one of them green? Perhaps it has something to do with them being “in space,” and these are actually the Green Lantern Batmen. We may be going too far down the rabbit hole with this one…
3. Buzz cup
This is made all the worse – or better, depending on how you look at it – by Buzz Lightyear’s crossed arms and weird expression. Narrowed eyes? Check. Raised eyebrow? Check. Creepy smirk? You’d better believe that’s a check. Honestly, there’s no way this wasn’t intentional on the part of the designer.
2. Baymax balloon
Just imagine a parent having to blow this balloon up at a kids’ birthday party. Somehow, we think they’d probably be too embarrassed to get that far. Indeed, just seeing Baymax’s blank expression slowly enlarge as you blow air into him would definitely be too much to handle. Better invest in a pump…
20. Adult Superheroes
Look, what Batman and Robin get up to in their own time is no business of ours. After all, that’s probably why they don’t tell anyone where the Batcave is – they don’t want people turning up and interrupting their “special Bat-bonding sessions.” Which is definitely how Alfred would prefer to refer to them…